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Thursday, August 4, 2011

15 Ways to Build Your Home

Proverbs 14:1 says, "A wise woman builds her home." The image of a game we used to play comes to mind. The game was Bandu. The box was filled with odd shapes of wood and the object of the game was to use any shape that your opponent gave you to build your structure. If you were unsuccessful, the blocks would tumble down and your opponent would win. The strategy would be to give the other player smaller pieces for the foundation and larger ones as the game progressed.

At times I feel like that is what life hands me. The pieces keep getting bigger and more difficult to place on my structure. At times I feel like it will all come tumbling down with the slightest breath. Yes, I know my home is built on the firm foundation of Christ. I know that He continues to be my support and is faithful to keep us to the end. The deal is, He allows life to hand us those big pieces to see where we will place them. After all, He wants to say, "Well done, good and faithful servant." All too often, I fail to see that bigger picture and am filled with fear when large pieces are placed in my hand. I find myself paralyzed with indecision. How do I fit this piece into my life? I begin to wonder how much He plans to guide my hand or if it is all up to me. Depending on my response to that question determines the placement of that next piece.

So, how can I keep those pieces from scattering across my stained carpet? The following verses in Proverbs 14 gave me a great place to start. Here is what I gleaned from the chapter that began with the challenge that caused me to write a big "How?" at the top of the chapter. My "game" directions should include these strategies found in the following verses.

1. Follow the right path (verse 2). Basically, this begins with salvation. God saved us and put us on the right path. His word lights our way and His grace keeps us there. Check.
2. Use wise words (verse 3).  Yes, my proud talk has often become a rod that beat me up. Reading His Word keeps me from being foolish and provides those wise words. Half check.
3. Understand that life is messy (verse 4). At least I don't have oxen to clean up after! If I didn't have those giant boy shoes to stumble over, I also wouldn't be blessed with his life. Maybe I do have an ox!
4. Embrace integrity (verse 5). Lies are so easy. But, your household watches and is learning how to deal with life when it is easier to lie. I am teaching by example. I may not be obligated to say everything and it is best not to speak everything on my mind, honest or not, but when I do speak, make sure it is true.
5. Seek knowledge (verse 6). Don't become lazy with learning. The only way to earn respect from growing kids is to have the habit of seeking knowledge. I might need to ask if I am spending time with fools. There are a lot of them on TV. 
6. Be prudent (verse 8, 15, 18). I had to seek a little knowledge here. The online definition just isn't very good on this one. I had to pull out my big heavy Webster's New World Dictionary. Here's how Webster's defined prudent.
              1. capable of exercising sound judgement in practical matters.
              2. cautious or discreet in conduct; circumspect; sensible; not rash. SYN - wise!
I guess this covers number 8 and 10 and maybe even number 11, and even number 2. I love words like "prudent" that say so much. Now to put it into practice! Not so easy.
7. Be quick to apologize (verse 9). I'd rather skip this one. My husband showed me up on this one and now his son is doing the same. They both have the ability to see things from other people's perspective and not just their own. What a gift! I am trying to learn from their gift.
8. Be discreet (verse 10). Being an open book with everyone is not a gift. We long to be known but I need to remember that only God can really know my heart.
9. Laugh (verse 13). This verse is not really an instruction to laugh but a reminder that grief is still present when the laughter is gone. I know from experience this is true but I also know that laughter lightened the load. This is part of discretion as well. Laughing with others will relieve them of the burden they carry for my grief. In a family setting, laughter has more benefits than can be mentioned.
10. Be cautious (verse 16). Americans are expected to be bold and fearless and confident. I need to remember that God's expectations are different of me and of my kids. We should be prudent (yep, like that word) and look for the dangers ahead before moving forward.
11. Control your temper (verse 17, 29). This is another lightening rod for me. God has brought me a long way from the child who threw temper tantrums or the wife who called her husband a jerk (only one time! but my kids still tease me about it) but I recognize temper as a lifelong struggle. The problem with temper is that you can exercise self-control for years and one day can negate all the others. My children will always remember the days I failed to rely on Christ for control.
12. Help the poor (verse 21, 31). I can never escape this instruction. My gift is not giving but God does not tell me what kind of people should help the poor. He just says to help the poor. "I was hungry and you gave me food." Forgive me, Lord! Help me to see those around me who need help.
13. Develop a good work ethic (verse 23). I can't expect my kids to work hard if they have not been shown the example of a good work ethic. Yes, life is messy but there is a time to clean up. I also talk a good talk sometimes and have a multitude of ideas but do my kids see me carry it through? Well, I am going to finish this blog! My next step - finish a book!!! Don't get it right. Get it written!
14. Fear the Lord (verse 26).This is the key to security. I want God to be a refuge for my children. His promises can be trusted. This has to be a daily choice.
15. Exercise godliness (verse 34). I can get so upset with politics and the leaders. I need to remember that godliness of its people is what makes a nation great. I need to pray for our leaders. I need to pray for the people of this nation. I need to follow Christ and allow Him to make a difference in my nation and in my home. Godliness is not work-based but is God-based.

Those pieces still look pretty big but God does not leave us alone and expect us to figure it all out. I am blessed. God will steady my hand. He is bigger than my opponent. "Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world."














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