Do you know how hard it is to come up with the first blog? You can't just write anything! Your words should be significant, shouldn't they? Do I have to have one purpose or is it OK to have multiple purposes for writing? That will be what I do here. One day may be about my son and the next day about stem cell research or about the movie I just watched. So, I guess for now, I'll tell you a little about myself.
I grew up in a Southern Baptist preacher's home with one brother and three sisters. We moved a lot. While I was in college, my parents and two younger sisters moved from Ohio to Colorado. Soon afterward I dreamed that someone asked me for my address. In my dream, I was straining to remember. Finally, I blurted out an address and then I said, "Oh, no. That's my old address." And then I'd say another address only to realize that that was no longer my address either! Finally after literally quoting every address since I was in first grade, I had to admit to the other person in my dream that I didn't know my own address. I guess moving was in my blood though. I married someone who lived in Michigan while I was living in Oklahoma! That's a story for another time. My wanderlust was contagious to my previously stable husband and we moved to Boston for him to go to school and then to Colorado and on to Ohio which included three different locations. After two children and 15 wonderful years of marriage, my husband died prematurely of a massive heart attack when he was only 54. Two years later, I moved back to Oklahoma to be near part of my family.
In college I majored in Music Education with my trombone. Education was just a backup plan and I primarily used my education to serve in local churches. Sometimes I played the piano, sometimes I sang solos or sang in groups, sometimes I directed choirs, and sometimes I taught piano lessons. I substituted in the local schools but my heart was in music ministry. When my husband passed away I was singing and playing keyboard on the worship team and teaching singing techniques to the other members of the team. At first, grief was a reasonable excuse for dropping out of the team but I soon realized that the music ministry I had pursued my entire life was changing. I no longer had the passion required to adapt to changing styles. The door was closing and I had no regrets. I should have been sad but I was not. Almost immediately I had begun to write. Yes, writing was cathartic but it was much more than that. In one sense, I was tired of "singing to the choir." My world was much too small and I wanted to blow the doors off of my box. When I blogged, the number of visitors told me that I could reach out to so many more people than I ever could on stage, no matter how big the church. I had sung for thousands of people but a song is quickly forgotten and often leaves no impact except for the moment. I wanted my words to make a difference. Somehow, seeing them on a page gives them life and I have hope that the words God has placed on my heart may change someone else's life maybe longer than for a moment.
Whether I change the world or not, however, I just plain love to write. All my life I had people telling me I should write a book. All through the years friends and family would send me that little ad that was printed everywhere about becoming a writer. I even responded one time and had to send in a short writing piece. Yeah, I was eligible to pay for their writing course! I was always too poor to think about doing something like that but it was fun to think about. But, it wasn't until my husband died and I wrote a journal page about that day, that writing became more than just another pastime. I began to seriously consider writing a book. So, I have four books started! lol. I just can't seem to finish one before I have another great idea! I have a wonderful friend who suggested that I write the ending so that I could just be tweaking my "finished" book. I think I'll take her up on that! I have had a hard time not feeling like a loser when people ask me how the writing is coming and I still can't make a claim to writing a book even after two years have passed. Never mind that I homeschooled my son during that time or helped my daughter write numerous essays for school! Plus, I've been trying to get a job or go back to school to support this poor writer. For now, I plan to take advantage of this poor economy and write as much as I can before I get squeezed back into the job market. If I could find a way to make my living by writing, that's what I'd do but if not, I'll write because I want to.
My last thoughts have to be on what is most important to me. Even though I love my son and daughter more than life itself, I have a love even higher than that. When I was single and in a bad relationship, I stood looking over a mountainside in the Ozarks. I bemoaned the ending of yet another relationship and then I heard the voice of the One who has loved me and known me most and longest. God spoke to my heart and said, "Where was I before *?" (*He named my first boyfriend.) Before I could answer, He said, "Where was I after?" He proceeded to name every guy I had ever dated using the same questions. I could only answer, "You have been with me before and during and after every relationship I've ever had." I realized in that moment that He was the only truly enduring relationship I would ever have. People leave or they even die eventually but God is eternal. My dedication to God traveled from my head to my heart in that moment. Above all things and all people, no matter how dearly loved, is my love for God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
I hope and pray that you not only enjoy what I write here but that the words will somehow make a difference in your life. Please feel free to leave comments. I will do my best to answer when applicable. Blessings to you and your loved ones.
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